This post is going to be about parenting a bit of a rant. i am a single parent who for the most part has a great relationship with my ex wife. i still like my ex at times I still love her we were together 9 years and apart for almost half that time now. i still find her attractive and frustrating but she has been very understanding of my situation and never done anything but encourage the large roll i play in my sons life. Because of my work i put a little more time into school things . i also have a much more outgoing personality so I tend to socialize more with other groups of parents. i am a equal partner with her in every way. however my frustration with her is that she is and always has been very unilateral if she wants to do something she does it often with out consulting me. For the big things she always includes me but for the little stuff she often doesn't bother. I have noticed that our communication is very one sided i am open about my life and she is very closed. This is not a lot different than we were married and i don't miss that part of our relationship and i do find it less painful when we have less contact but i do miss her when we are in those phases of not sharing.
J bday party fell all on me the planning the execution the clean up the cost. we did it at my house to save money so i cleaned and shopped for 2 days. At J foodie request it was a sushi cooking class for 17 9 year olds our kids loved it. However a lot of preparation went into it my girlfriend and another good friend are chefs so they really helped with all the teaching and the kids had a great time. i however am still cleaning up. K the ex did goodies bags and helped during the party but made no acknowledgement to me how much work it was getting all the stuff .... making food for kids who didn't eat sushi and than cleaning the mess that all those kids left behind.
I am frustrated with parenting in other ways too. My kid is a easy kid not without his issues but a kid who almost always is responsible and displays good behavior. I count myself lucky. However I have tried to do things for the school first as PTA president I got my feelings really hurt by the childish behavior of other parents and ended up feeling like shit and at one point didn't even want to go to school the community that I have had such good friends and support from.
Last year i started coaching the third grade soccer team. i figured it was a much smaller group of parents about half of whom i considered good friends. I got really hurt again by the lack of grown ups ability to speak directly and than start a whisper campaign about how some of the parents thought i was too tough on the kids. Keep in mind i had never done this before and checked in constantly with parents about this very issue? What is the best Way to motivate your child should we be tough or are we being too tough I was desperate for feedback. Not a single one said a word instead began a whisper campaign to get a different coach without talking to me first. OF course this was only 3 parents whose kids don't even want to be there regardless of me these are the kids running off to play ds with the girls and not engaged in the practice at all from day 1 and i was frustrated with them. we then had a counter rebellion of parents who felt i did a good job. meanwhile this is all taking place via email without me aware. i have one friend on the team on of my good friends he decided he needed to talk with me we arranged to meet for a drink. i at this point know nothing. it has been a hard day we had that day decided to commit my mother against her will in a psychiatric treatment facility.
Than James tells me this good thing James is a gay dad and a close friend because i don't think I would have felt comfortable crying in front of anyone else that night. i have rarely been that hurt. be people I thought were my friends. i later learn that some of this is typical behavior from some of this group. I still a month later have not heard from DEE who i reached out to and said I really value our friendship and my feelings are really hurt by you. I am told by her ex girlfriend that is typical I feel like every time I put myself out there for the good of others kids as well as mine i get burned. I am considering writing a letter to the team telling them how i feel.
any body reading think i should ?
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